Everything Still Remains The Same

Weekly check in for the weight loss - same weight as last week.  I knew that had to come soon as I've really been doing what feels like very little in terms of changes and I'm not disappointed.  Particularly as I have been getting over my cold still.  I'm better but still a bit congested and coughing at times.  Nowhere near as badly as I was although people have been commenting that I have a bad cough (they should have heard me last week!)

I did wheel myself a lot in my chair when we were at the half marathon on Sunday.  Unfortunately some stupidly steep ramps and one point where my dad was flapping that we needed to be faster and started pushing me and wouldn't stop when asked meant that I didn't reach my goal of wheeling myself whenever it was needed/possible/feasible there.  The fact that the ramps stopped me is a fact of life although I will raise that point with them as safety issues.  The second really frustrates me as to me there was no need to be concerned about how fast we were (dad was worried they were going to shut one of the access points and in particular the wheelchair accessible one) but now I know what his concern was it is still frustrating but more understandable.  And I'm not overly slow wheeling my chair.  Not unless you compare me to the wheelchair athletes who did the half marathon.  But still nothing I can do about that now...

Very Bad Cold

I'm down another 1lb this week for a total of 6lb since Valentines day.  I'm surprised by that today given that I have a very bad cold (downgraded this morning from yesterday's status of very very bad cold).  I've not felt like eating but I'm also the queen of congestion and mucus at the moment.

I'm hoping I can lose another 3lb in the next two weeks as I get my eyebrows waxed that week and we always have this thing where one or the other of us will go "I'm gonna lose half a stone before I see you next" and she's managed it but I never have.

3

I've decided that it's time I rejoin the Healthy You challenge.  A particularly good time as I never weighed myself at the weekend didn't have time yesterday.

I did weigh myself this morning, however, and I was down 3lb from the last time I weighed (Saturday before last so ten days ago) and 5lb overall this year.

I have a serious long way to go on weightloss, realistically I need to lose a total of 98lb (although I'd be very happy with any weightloss and would probably consider myself done at 80-84lb lost if it came to it).  

There's a big difference between what the charts etc and convention would suggest is a healthy weight for me and what I actually think is a happy weight for me.  Based on the charts I need to lose more than the 98lb than my goal (probably 107lb?) but I've been told that the charts are unrealistic for a wheelchair user, particularly given pressure issues etc.  So I'm saying 98lb but I know the weight losing 80-84lb gets me to was a happy weight for me before.

And my sisters 21st birthday party is in May, my short term goal if I can manage it (and i think it's realistic) is to lose another 16lb by then.

Last Meal... of the condemned woman*

The secret is officially out.

I'm off to Slimming World in about ten minutes.

Anything could happen in the next half an hour...**

*I considered titling this post "Eat Drink and Be Merry for tomorrow we Die(t)" but as I had pizza for lunch and all I could think was "This is the last meal of the condemned woman" i figured that worked better for a title.

**bonus points if you can tell me where that quote comes from.

I had to laugh

With a worktop in front of me to fall onto if needed and my sister standing ready to catch me if I went backwards I managed to stand completely unsupported on the scales when I went to my Mum's house earlier today.

We won't talk about the numbers... They aren't good.  We're talking the 20lb I lost last year is back on with a fair chunk more on top.    But the numbers? they also don't really matter.

My family make me laugh however.

I said something a bit after that about how much I weighed and the fact that it matters but it doesn't in the grand scheme of things.

Sophie replied "Emma you weigh XXX, you're almost dead!"

I had to laugh.

Ben, Geri and Dad were watching the Grand Prix in the other room.  When it finished Ben came over and kissed me on the head.  He hugged me and I was leaning on him.  He commented that he hadn't seen me for a while.  We were chatting and I went "Ben I'm fat."

He replied.  "No, you're not.... well, I can't lie..."

I had to laugh at that too.

It's a bit like going to the hairdressers, I get my hair cut by one of two people.  One of them is dead skinny and if I ever comment that I worry my face will look fatter with my hair done a certain way she tells me I'm not fat.  That like hmmm... I love you, you liar.   And I always have to laugh at that too.

Non Scales Victory!

Someone I worked with commented this morning that I looked thinner ;o) and specifically that my bum looked smaller.  Pleased about the first... pleased about the second but also slightly bemused by that comment.

Can't say I look closely enough at my colleague's bums to notice if they are smaller than usual!

Progress

Down 4lb this week. Progress at last.

Looks like something is finally working again. Just need to get the exercise back in now. That's a job for tomorrow me thinks. I have been doing my physio/stretches more however and the difference it's made in my ankles in just a few days is astounding.

Am pretty wiped out now and still feeling a bit off from whatever it was that I had at the weekend. I don't think it can have been Norovirus, that's supposed to be incredibly nasty and what I had wasn't nice but wasn't up there in the incredibly nasty category. I just felt sick and felt sick and felt sick for about three days. Emotionally things are better too; had a bit of an air clearing session with someone earlier and we both cried but i at least felt better after it. So that's more progress.

Hormone Hell Blahs

Tough day today.

Or maybe not all of it, but definitely part of it.

Let's just say I tried to calmly talk to my mum about something that had been worrying me a bit and ended up entering hormone hell, losing the plot and crying.

Once again I am reminded why it was recommended that I take evening primrose oil.  And of the fact that I feel better when I do.

Three key thoughts that I keep coming back to lately

1. Who'd have neighbours?


2. Who'd be a woman?


3. Who'd be a grown up?

I didn't weigh myself this morning; couldn't be bothered and suspected my impending period would screw things over and ruin my mood.  Not that it actually needed any ruining today.

I think it's slowly going ok though and I'm hopeful for next week.  I've made changes and they've not seemed so hard.

I could do with something going right...

Checking in for the Challenge

The Look Great in 2008 Challenge over at Tales From The Scales, that is.

My past several weeks of not really caring saw me up 6lb  first thing Monday morning.  So the good is that I'm still 18lb lighter than I was 1st July 2007.  The other really good news is that I did OK dietwise Tuesday, better yesterday and today can only be considered GOOD!  Meaning those 6lb shouldn't be around too long.  

I exercised today too and will tomorrow.  My planned swimming for today had to be cancelled as its too bloody cold to walk up there (I go in my powerchair which means I'm not actually moving around and generating body heat so I freeze) and I suspect I won't make it to the pool tomorrow either.  I've done a fair amount of standing stretches and I danced round my lounge for 20 or so minutes earlier.

Hopefully this year should see me hit (and maintain at) my goal wait - I was reading a blog earlier in the week where the writer said she wanted to be at goal by 1st June.  I'm not sure how realistic it would be for me to reach that so I think I'll set 1st July as my goal - giving me 7 months to lose 30lb ish which should be roughly doable.

Here's hoping, anyway!

Small Steps

No change with the weight loss thing today/this week.  Not at all surprised and very happy (beyond happy, almost) to be where I am with my weight at this current moment in time.  Still got a really long way to go but... I'll get there.

My Dad keeps saying stuff about how I need to lose more weight now because it'll soon be my birthday and christmas and I'll gain weight.  What's the point in that?!  What will be, will be and I'm not going to be obssessed over my weight when I'm celebrating the fact that I'm getting old.  Maybe I will gain weight and maybe  won't.  Who knows.  I don't think I'll lose any over those few weeks but what I do think is that in the long run it doesn't matter because what does matter is a system I can live with, have fun with, enjoy and keep up.  And doing it this way I can.

We had our monthly workers meeting today and as it's Christmas we had everyone bring in a few nibbles.  So I had nibbly bits instead of lunch.  It was going to be as well but my supervisor was like "why are you going out to buy a sandwich when everyones bringing nibbles?" and I realised the error of my ways.

A big part of the box of chocolate cookies i took was left over and they pushed me to take them home but I already had some here so I left them for everyone else to have with coffee next week (well the rest of this week more likely)

Small progress.  I'm pleased.

I got the blahs

I was in Reading most of yesterday shopping so didn't get here.  And truthfully, when I got home, I just couldn't be bothered.

Yet again no change in my weight.

I've had this week off of work but don't feel rested at all, it's actually been pretty stressful as a result of what I got asked to do today.  I am looking forward to it but differences in attitudes have stressed me out.  :twisted:   I'm getting picked up in 10 minutes, more on that later.

It's all pretty blah at the moment anyway. :evil:

Writing and Weight and Fireworks

The good thing about doing both NaBloPoMo AND NaNoWriMo is that on days when I don't really have any inspiration for my blog entry I just simply tell you what my NaNo word count is and witter on about that for a while.

I have 3580 words for NaNo so far, I've set up three characters and mentioned a third and fourth. Other than that not much has happened other that a shit load of padding it out. Still, that;s half the fun. And I suddenly like what I've written this afternoon which is always good. I am slightly ahead of the curve at the moment but I haven't written 1667 words today (wrote extra yest) so I want to get at least the 300 or so extra in to hit that - don't want to lose my extra margin of words this early on. I'd actually forgotten how much fun this writing lark is.

Oooh and my friend Sam said my face looks a lot thinner today. I was very pleased but immediately followed that up with a discussion as to whether or not it was how I was wearing my hair (different to usual) that did it. Because, obviously, looking less fat is important. Particularly when you have an appt with a TV camera crew next week like I do...

Fireworks tomorrow, can't wait!

Maintainance!

No loss again this week.

Which actually I guess is a good thing.  Because I means that I. Am. Maintaining. My. Weight!!

I've lost 23lb since July and I'm keeping it off.  Yayness.  Maintaining even when it's accidental and happening instead of continuing loss, rocks.

I would, however, love to lose another 5lb this year.

Everything still remains the same...

No loss this week.

No gain either.

I have been really doing well (I thought) this week but lets just say that I had suspected my body wouldn't show a loss this week for various reasons.   My waist measures exactly the same today as it did on Sept 19th which I again am not surprised by.

Hopefully things will be working properly again by next week and I may see some progress.

Week four?

I think it's week four of the Look Great in 2008 challenge, anyway.

I'm down another 1lb for a total of 23lb now.  Which I'm pleased about.  I haven't had time to do measurements and I'm sneaking on at CAB now so I will do them later and add them in.

I'm trying to come up with something of a plan to allow me to stop feeling like I'm floundering and treading water and allow me to actually work on this again.  Otherwise I will not be looking great in 2008, I'll still be working on it. 

I think the plan will involve weights, some of the goals in my 101 in 1001 (nutritional ones, mostly) and once my powerchair is up to speed again getting back in the pool more often.

 I also need a plan because I tend to struggle at this time of year with the dark nights (and I noticed I was yesterday) - I think that will involve daily exercise on top of the meds.

But we shall see.

p.s. this blog looks terrible on this computer, must do soemthing about that!

Look Great in 2008

It's Wednesday.  And on Wednesdays I check in for Tales from the Scales.

My scales seem to be broken because they wanted me to think I had lost 40lb in one week.  One week, people!  totally not possible, although a lovely number to see!  So I suspect a new battery will be being bought at the weekend or maybe some new scales.

I've still been pretty  crazy busy over the last week, travelling all over the country to see friends and having a surprise visit from another friend.  So I haven't been focusing too much on the weight loss thang.  And I have been drinking cocktails.  Cocktails are yummy and they did a lot for my cold which is finally now beginning to clear up.   So not much focus on anything related to the challenge but I start again today.  It's always been a part of my plan to allow myself flexibility and not to deny myself anything and so I don't feel guilty about this week.

One thing I have noticed a couple of times this week is that I've been mindlessly eating.  BUT the fact that I realised and stopped is a good thing!

Measurements again next Wednesday day, it's very tempting to do them today but four weeks seems like a better period of time to leave it methinks!

If you have a spare couple of minutes and don't mind my going completely off the weightloss topic, please take a look at these links below, they mean a lot to me.

Petition being run by Scope for the human rights of disabled children and against the Ashley “Treatment”

Entry I wrote explaining why this topic is coming up again and linking to information about the so called "Ashley Treatment"

22!

It seems my gain from last week was related to the fact that the Red Army came to town a day or so later.  For some reason I had lost all track of such things and hadn't realised from the way I felt that was soon.  Which probably explains why I was so irrational last week.  And this week, all three of the lb I had regained have gone, along with two more!

So I'm down 5lb for a total of 22lb.  And I'm in virgin fat territory again.

I am still full of cold and generally feeling a bit yucky but I went to work anyway and it was ok.   A nap will be required very shortly though.  Just as soon as I eat lunch.

This week I've been working on drinking water, next week I had planned exercise as my goal but that seems currently unrealistic so I think increasing my water again is the plan.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas!

And it's only 1st October!  And it's looked a lot like Christmas for about two weeks.  Christmas stuff every where in the shops - completely ridiculous.  It sort of makes me mad in a way and it makes me feel really old but I can't help thinking that it wasn't like this when I was young ("back in my day...").  The end of October is more than early enough to start buying sweets and stuff (or even too early still). if I bought them now I would eat them.

But it's not just shops - my mother brought the Christmas Cake yesterday.  On the last day of September.

In other news, I didn't go to work today.  This is the first time this year when I maybe could have gone to work and didn't.  Which is a good thing but also makes me feel bad that I stayed home.  Of course I knew I would sit there wishing I was home if I went.  So instead I stayed home worrying and thinking I should have gone.

I'm still in my PJ's (with a jst fleece over the top) and I've been sleeping lots.  it's all been rather lovely and I'm feeling better than I have since Thurs.  Currently trying to convince myself that I do not need to text my carer and get her to bring me chocolate and coke when she comes.  The lower number of the scales will be much nicer on Wednesday than the treats would be now, right?

Look Great in 2008 Week One!

I'm up 1lb.

Which is ok.

Trouble is last week I had regained 2lb.

So that's 3lb that had gone now back here visiting again. And I'm grateful it's not more because I did eat out twice yesterday and I did binge a couple of times this week. When I weighed earlier in the week it looked like I'd gained more.

If I got a report on my weight loss it would probably say "Emma tries hard but could do better."

That's ok. but it's also sucky considering that I was loser of the week this week.

But all I can do is go onwards and upwards. And take it back to basics.

On with the next week...

Loser!

If you are here from Tales From The Scales - Welcome. Or if you've been here before either from TFTS or somewhere else - Welcome Back!

If you never go to the TFTS site, go now. And check out This post. I'm the Loser of the Week this week!!



I won't repeat the stuff I wrote from the site because you can go there and read it (and comment, and maybe, be inspired to join the new challenge?)

Beth has put both of the before and after photos I shared as one image and even I could see the difference there - so I will share that here.



Something I think I didn't mention over on TFTS is how much the accountability and the wonderful support I have received has helped me and kept me going. Receiving Beth's e-mail yesterday gave me a real boost and the resolve to make it a great day. So thank you Beth - and thank you everyone else!



I'm going to be Looking Great in 2008 (click the image for more details of the challenge). Why don't you join me?