Christmas comes but once a year

So early today I was lying on my bed reading a book.  I went to see Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 1 tonight (which was really good, I loved it) and I wanted to get some chair free time right before going out as my legs have been very tight and spasmy lately.  It didn't seem to help but hey they might have been worse if I'd not done it.  Plus, I'm reading a really good book.

Anyway, I was reading and I was wondering if the guy had written more, thinking about when and what I was having for dinner (6pm film not conductive for an easy dinner!).  Snuggled under my duvet both for comfort and for warmth.

Then an ice cream van came up the road.

Now, I do live in area where there are loads of young kids so the ice cream comes a lot.  But I don't think it's been here for a while.  And it's the 19th of November.  Whilst it was a little warmer today than yesterday I was surprised to see and hear it but didn't think too much of it.

Until the music started playing again and I realised just what is was.

Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.

I know that shops and everywhere are getting very into the Christmas thing now because it IS the only time of year they can but that's just weird.

There is something very, very wrong about an ice cream van announcing it's presence with a Christmas Carol.

And that's now two days and two bizarre things.  I must admit I'm wondering what the third bizarre thing will be!

I Saw A Mouse! Where?

Yesterday it was arranged that early this morning someone would be popping round for a few minutes to grab something.

I let them in, getting out of bed only when I heard the doorbell and then went to the loo after letting them in.  They wandered into my lounge.

The next thing I hear is them screaming "oh my god oh my god ARGH"

They thought they'd seen a mouse running across the middle of my lounge. At just before 8 in the morning.  It's safe to say they were freaked out.

I was a bit ARGH about the idea of a mouse in my flat but didn't have time to get out of the bathroom before they calmed down and reported that it wasn't a mouse.

It was a very small amount of yarn. They'd knocked it with their foot and it had rolled across the room.

They explained why they thought it was a mouse running across the room and said "you can see why I thought that." then looked at me and realised I couldn't.  Then got what they came for and went off.

And I went back to bed.

That's not what I expected to happen.  But it made for an interesting start to the day!  Nevertheless I hope not to start my day like that again.

Well, I never would have guessed!!

So I'm finally seeing the Dr tomorrow to get my blood test results and discuss what needs to be done about the whole screwy periods thing.  Apparently the bloods I had done last year didn't show PCOS so now I'm really confused.  Hopefully this lot will show something useful.  I want answers.

Must admit I'm a bit nervous about it but I do realise that if my results had been totally worryingly bad I'd know by now most likely.  It doesn't help that I'm not seeing my GP.  Have been trying to get an appt all month with her with no luck.  And have also been asking to see a female GP if not my one (more women then men at my surgery).  But no luck with that either.  Finally I gave in and said I would see any of the GPs and they fitted me in with one of the male ones, giving me a choice of two.  I'm not that bothered really, I've seen him before and I didn't really take to him but he was nice enough.  It's not even really the subject matter that bothers me I just figured if I did need to see someone I don't know well then a woman might be easier.

It does make me mad though.  First I had to go through a ridiculous process to get an appt which will eventually have gone on their statistics as having been arranged within 48 hours of requesting it per their policy despite the fact I'd been trying to do it for two weeks and it was the 5th time I'd tried to do it.  And what about the right to request care from a female GP?

Anyway, I've just been googling various bits about it so I can be prepared with questions I need to ask etc.  One of the things I wanted to check was contraindications for the Pill because I know I can't take it and I don't want to.  But it is one of the usual treatments for this sort of problem so I wanted to be clear on it.

The very first thing on the webpage I read was "Not to be taken by pregnant women"

Yeah, I never would have guessed that!!

Did make me giggle though ;-)

The Things People Say

People sometimes ask if I'm "getting better" or if I will get better or what happened to me. At CAB I've had several clients ask if I have MS and more than one client has wondered "did you have polio?" One time a client asked "what happened to you?" and I seriously was all confused by what he meant. I'd just been drinking water before I went to see him and I was looking down and checking my top and thinking I'd spilt it all over myself. He then gestured at my walker and I knew what he meant. I don't think he got why I didn't realise what I meant.

A lot of the time I get frustrated by comments that people make about my being disabled etc. Because it isn't their business, it's nothing to do with them and it's fine. Until they make it not fine by their pity and their questions and generally making a big deal of it. Yesterday wheeling myself through town someone on a scooter commented that it was hard work for me. I just said it wasn't, it was good for me. And in many ways that was an innoculous comment and it didn't bother me. One a lot of people say when they see me wheeling is "you should get a powerchair" or similar. When I was in Glasgow in 2007 a woman stopped me to tell me that a relative of hers ran a pub and they'd fundraised for someone to get a powerchair and could do the same for me. She really didn't understand why my response was "I've already got one, I'm just not using it today."

Something I don't think many of those well meaning people who are only trying to be helpful is the fact that a lot of their comments take away from what I'm trying to do (and in some cases achieving) and making it more about the disability and how "terrible" it supposedly is than. Not about me doing my voluntary job, normal everyday things for me or wheeling myself more than I have in months or up a terrible hills I thought I wouldn't manage or simply living my life and being me. It becomes less about "Emma" who is doing whatever, being whatever, is whatever and all about "the disabled girl" being and doing those things instead.

It's frustrating. And at times, upsetting.

On my way into town earlier this evening I bumped into a guy who lives near me and stopped to chat for a few minutes. He on more than one occasion (including tonight) has just gestured at my legs and gone "are they bollocksed?" and basically thats been it for our discussions on my disability.

Today he did that and then asked if my legs were getting better. And I told him that they won't, CP is a life long thing. His response?

"you poor little cow..."

Well I've never had that one before! I did have to giggle about it after I left him.