Four years ago today I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I was put onto antidepressants and told I would need to take them for six months. I was later told by a different doctor that I had been told that incorrectly and no one with clinical depression only takes meds for six months as the protocol written by the WHO states six months once stability/remission of symptoms is achieved. Reactive depression however does tend to have shorter treatment plans because of its differing nature. Four years and three medications later I have two prozac capsules waiting for me to take them in a minute and the medication dance continues.
Today isn't a day to be sad however, I don't regret that I ended up getting depressed and needing medication for it. And I'm no longer bothered by the fact that I am still on medication. I absolutely hated going to the doctors and getting put onto antidepressants, I was so worried about it I was physically sick before I left the house. And I hated 10th February 2004 when I marked one year of meds. 2005 and two years of meds was a little easier but it was Feb 10th 2006 that was the easiest anniversary for me - I celebrated it.
And I celebrate today.
I had mild depression for at least a year before I went onto treatment, probably longer. And for the last five months of that I was seriously struggling and my best friend told me repeatedly how worried about me she was. 10/02/03 was not a day when it all went wrong for me and I "caught" depression... depression caught me way before that. So today is not a sad anniversary for me. I took control back of my life that day and that is positive.
I've always said that I have CP, it doesn't have me. Before 10th Feb 2003. Depression had me and I was lost in it. But not after that. Today I am celebrating the fact that for the past four years I HAVE depression and depression DOES NOT have me - I am in control once again and if it still takes pills to do it then so what?
Join me in my celebration won't you please?
Saturday 10 February 2007
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4 comments:
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congrats! I agree, so what if you still have to take the tablets. You're doing great!
Emma - I love that phrase you use to sum it all up: I have CP/Depression they don't have me. That is so great and I am glad for you too taking charge of your life in this way. Also, your positive attitude helps me on days when I am not feeling so positive. So thanks and congratulations!
my sweet, another thing we have in common. i too have to take prozac and i do now happily and willingly for i know that my brain needs it. i no longer feel ashame or guilty and i'm no longer trying to get off them for i am much better..
with all that happen to me, i didn't need all the pain and darkness that comes with the sadness of depression..it took me a long, long time to admit i need it them. i didn't want to need them. i meant i wasn't healthy and life was really my reality but thank goodness that is long behind me and i am in control.
i have come to recognize that regardless of what 'society' opinions are on depressants, it is really no different that any other med we take.
i congratulate you on being at peace and well. i'm happy along with you my dear girl.
much love.
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