Saturday, 10 February 2007

It's a celebration

Four years ago today I was diagnosed with clinical depression.  I was put onto antidepressants and told I would need to take them for six months.  I was later told by a different doctor that I had been told that incorrectly and no one with clinical depression only takes meds for six months as the protocol written by the WHO states six months once stability/remission of symptoms is achieved.  Reactive depression however does tend to have shorter treatment plans because of its differing nature.  Four years and three medications later I have two prozac capsules waiting for me to take them in a minute and the medication dance continues.

Today isn't a day to be sad however, I don't regret that I ended up getting depressed and needing medication for it.  And I'm no longer bothered by the fact that I am still on medication.  I absolutely hated going to the doctors and getting put onto antidepressants, I was so worried about it I was physically sick before I left the house.  And I hated 10th February 2004 when I marked one year of meds.  2005 and two years of meds was a little easier but it was Feb 10th 2006 that was the easiest anniversary for me - I celebrated it.

And I celebrate today.

I had mild depression for at least a year before I went onto treatment, probably longer.  And for the last five months of that I was seriously struggling and my best friend told me repeatedly how worried about me she was.  10/02/03 was not a day when it all went wrong for me and I "caught" depression... depression caught me way before that.  So today is not a sad anniversary for me.  I took control back of my life that day and that is positive.

I've always said that I have CP, it doesn't have me.  Before 10th Feb 2003.  Depression had me and I was lost in it.  But not after that.  Today I am celebrating the fact that for the past four years I HAVE depression and depression DOES NOT have me - I am in control once again and if it still takes pills to do it then so what?

Join me in my celebration won't you please?


sair said...

;) xx

Jacqui said...

congrats! I agree, so what if you still have to take the tablets. You're doing great!

Kathryn said...

Emma - I love that phrase you use to sum it all up: I have CP/Depression they don't have me. That is so great and I am glad for you too taking charge of your life in this way. Also, your positive attitude helps me on days when I am not feeling so positive. So thanks and congratulations!

Chana said...

my sweet, another thing we have in common. i too have to take prozac and i do now happily and willingly for i know that my brain needs it. i no longer feel ashame or guilty and i'm no longer trying to get off them for i am much better..
with all that happen to me, i didn't need all the pain and darkness that comes with the sadness of took me a long, long time to admit i need it them. i didn't want to need them. i meant i wasn't healthy and life was really my reality but thank goodness that is long behind me and i am in control.

i have come to recognize that regardless of what 'society' opinions are on depressants, it is really no different that any other med we take.

i congratulate you on being at peace and well. i'm happy along with you my dear girl.

much love.


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