It is slightly edited (but I haven't checked grammar). It's still very new however.
Intruder in the house
Throwing my keys on the side, I slam the door shut behind me. The house is noisy and the hairs on the back of my neck are standing up. It's an old house and it creaks at times. But those noises are familiar and these aren't. There's someone here. That's the only explanation. I stand there frozen for a few seconds unsure how to react. Then, squaring my shoulders, I turn in a slow circle and look around the room. Nothing here, it's empty. The noises become clearer as I walk through the house on my guard. As I enter the kitchen I realise what the noises are – people rearranging furniture in the lounge. It worries me more, I still don't know who they are or why they are there. My hand shakes as I reach out to open the door knowing that the intruders are waiting behind it...
The door creaks as he opens it slowly. They hadn't heard him come home and so it made everyone jump. Time had run out. Pulling off a surprise like this isn't easy and they are all excited that they've got this far without him finding out. They would have liked to have finished by now but it's a big task and Shaun having decided that he is in charge tells them they should be proud of themselves for getting as far as they have. Most of them tell him they are. Almost all of the people there do mean it but for one of them it's not enough. There isn't any time to argue however as, at last, half an hour earlier than expected the door to the lounge opens fully and in walks Dave. He looks shocked but that quickly turns to confused relief when he sees the room is full of his friends Turning to face him everyone smiles. “Surprise!” They shout and then they all start singing. “Happy Birthday.”
~Emma Crees 16/10/08