Well that's one way of putting it...

I went to the nurse this morning to have my blood pressure checked again. 120/84 which is fine but they will check it again in a month and then if it's still good just do it every six months to be sure.

She asked if I'd had a letter from them inviting me to go for a smear test now I'm 25 (Happy Birthday. Have a smear to celebrate). I said yes but that I had understood from the leaflet they sent that as I've never had sex it wasn't necessary.

Basically that's right but I asked her if it was something I should have anyway if, say, I got much older and was still a virgin. She said not and floundered a lot trying to explain why they do it if you are sexually active. I knew why already but it was amusing.

She wound up by talking about how my CP didn't mean they wouldn't be able to do a smear (I had said in passing that due to spasticity etc I thought it would be difficult) and asked how I transfer? I stand, says I. "do you have any use of your legs?" she asks. I was hugely tempted to go "I just told you I can stand, what do you think?!" but I just said I could walk a few steps with help.

Then we went for the big finish in which she told me, that as long as it's just me it's fine "but if you get any willies near there you'll need to come in for a smear."

Well I guess that's one way of phrasing it...