Sunday, 13 August 2006

Woe :(

I am feeling a little bit woe is me right now. If one more person tells me that I am allowed to feel like that and it is normal under the circumstances I may have to scream because I feel like they've missed the point! Of course, I'm not really sure what the point is but...

Yes, I am stroppy.

And also twitchy... my legs aren't quite doin the spastic dance but they are doing an occasional twitch along with a few other parts of my body. I feel this may build up into some kind of coordinated whole body twitchy dance but I hope not.

Also, my neck hurts. Let's hope the baclofen I just took (40mg, yes I know I'm not supposed to take that much in one go but it is the only dose I've taken since Weds) can chill my body out a little and take away or at least relieve some of those woes.

Part of me wishes there was a magic pill to take away the rest of my woes but I know there isn't and in a way I'm glad there isn't.

It would seem that as well as being all "woe is me" and stroppy, I also make no sense.

It's been three weeks since Gran died and I miss her!!

I might be out of control at the moment but I know, intellectually that I am no where near as out of control as I would have been two months ago. Progress I guess, but I wish I didn't have to walk this road.

But... if I wasn't walking this road of sadness and grief and missing Gran she would still be walking her road. And she wasn't well for a long time and was gradually getting worse since her strokes. So for her, death was a release.

Besides, the main reason it hurts is because I loved her... and I wouldn't give up the love we shared and continue to share for anything in this world.

***


In other news, my sister and her boyfriend were in a car accident this evening. They are mostly ok but please keep them in your thoughts.


Also please keep the six year old whose mother had them riding the handlebars of her bike without a helmet.. I am sorry, but I find it outrageous that any parent would let there child on a bike without a helmet and to swerve out in front of a car... Makes me mad!

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