Just a chance that maybe...

And you asked me what I want this year
And I'll try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe
We'll find better days

'Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And designer love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe
We'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
'Cause everyone is forgiven now
'Cause tonight's the night
The world begins again

I need someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And that's faith and trust and peace
While we're alive

And the one poor child who saved this world
And there's ten million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words
And sing out loud
'Cause everyone is forgiven now
'Cause tonight's the night
The world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe
We'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
'Cause everyone is forgiven now
'Cause tonight's the night
The world begins again

'Cause tonight's the night
The world begins again

The Goo Goo Dolls ~ Better Days

A few people over on Caringbridge have talked about this song lately and I heard it tonight too. I'm listening to it on repeat as I type this...

I've been writing myself out a lot these last few days but at present I am not comfortable sharing what I've been writing here as it's intensely personal. I have been sharing it with someone and they have and continue to help me immensely. As I wrote tonight I intended to write about one thing but I ended up writing about something completely different.

And I thought hang on a minute, where did that come from? What I was writing took me completely by surprise but it rang true in a way I hadn't even thought of before.

I've had things take on a life of their own when writing before but normally that's stuff like poems and essays and it's like this is a truth... my truth but it wasn't something I'd really given time to before. 1,100 little words of my feelings and my pain gone from my head into written form. A chance to express myself and see things in a slightly clearer way, examine them from a previously unconsidered way.

Writing myself out helps me so much, I need to make time to do that properly and do that more often.

And I've come to a realisation or i suppose you could say back to a realisation... and The Goo Goo Dolls said it best so I'll let them say it for me:

And you asked me what I want this year

And I'll try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe
We'll find better days

I don't need to be cured of my depression right now, I don't need to even think about my medication and the fact that I have been on them so much longer than I was originally told I would be.

I'll be OK. Just as long as there's a chance that maybe, I'LL find better days.

And today, I feel like there is that chance.