'twas the night before #Easter

This is in honour of Easter and the fact I wanted to do something more challenging than I have been. I tweeted earlier that I was writing something which would either be fucking genius or fucking ridiculous. This is that piece and I would love feedback on it.

With apologies to the writer of the original


Twas the night before Easter
And all through the house
All creatures were stirring
(but thankfully there wasn't a mouse)
The eggs were placed
On the work top with care
In hopes the time to eat them
Soon would be there
This cripple was not
Tucked in her bed
Visions of chocolate danc'd in her head
A long nap or
A DVD with goodies in her lap instead
Dreaming interrupted by such a clatter
She had to go see what was the matter
Wheeled to the window in a flash
Didn't open the sash
(too cold)
The streetlights with their bright orange glow
Gave a weird look to those below
When what to her unsurprised eyes should appear?
Five drunks
(a regular occurrence this year)
She knew in a moment they'd be gone real quick
Hopefully before someone was sick
More rapid than eagles a straggler he came
Danced and pranced and shouted Easter egg names
"hey mars!" "oh Cadbury" "maltesers they'll do"
"now creme egg and then one with a mug too"
Too many to choose he didn't know what to do
To Sainsburys, to Tesco they'd visit them all!
As even Easter eggs in hurricanes can't fly
an obstacle he couldn't get by
Down to the shops went the straggler (and his friends too)
In search of Easter eggs
Old favourites - and new
And then in a twinkling she heard one youth
Prancing and pawing (most uncouth)
As she drew in her head and was turning around
Back across the room went the crip in one bound
She was dressed all in black from her head to her foot
Her clothes all tarnish'd with food that she cook
A bundle of eggs on her wheelchair back
She looked like a child as she delved in the pack
Her eyes — how they twinkled! Her dimples: how merry,
Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry;
Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
The skin on her chin was covered in white chocolate you know
The last bite of Easter egg held tight in her teeth
The foil it encircled her chair like a wreath
She had a broad face, and a little round belly
That shook when she laugh'd, like a bowl full of jelly:
She was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
You laugh'd when you saw her in spite of yourself
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head
For watchers to know they had nothing to dread
She spoke not a word but went straight to work
Put out Easter treats then turn'd with a jerk
And laying her finger aside of her nose
And giving a nod, out the room she goes
She went to her bed giving a whistle
To sleep she fell fast like a missile
But you heard her exclaim, as she turned out the light—
Happy Easter to all, and to all a good night.











♥ Emma