Friday, 25 November 2011

Don't Look Back In Anger

I went for my wheelchair assessment on Wednesday.  And it went really well.  The details and all that are for another entry as I'd like for that to be a positive entry. For now lets just say that I'm trialling a new seating configuration and the question of whether I need a new chair as well is on the backburner at present.  So far I like my new seating but I think there maybe a few niggles which need ironing out in the long run.

The thing is though I can't help feeling a little frustrated and even angry.  I was assessed there in 2009 and I told them certain problems I am having.  Problems which the new seating I've just received is hoped will help with.  In 2009 however I had to really fight and justify to get what I did.  And then on the day I went for it to be fitted the therapist commented that I was tipping to one side and not sat even (which was something I had told them about before that).  The response was to get me standing and rearranged and then sit me down again.  I was told I'd need to be care to make sure I did that when I got in the chair and sent on my merry way.

The thing is though I do so many transfers in a day (I tried to count one day but couldn't keep track) that I can't always remember to do that.  And if I'm tired or ill it goes out the window.  Plus even within my chair I can't keep my body in that correct position.

When I went to see my physio for the first time in July she commented on my position within my chair and said it was the cause of a lot of my back pain.  Something she asked me was why I'd not gone back to wheelchair services to tell them and ask for help.  The consultant in spasticity clinic commented on the same thing.  I gave them both the same answer - I hadn't seen any need or point in it as it had been like that from the day I'd got it.

I'm hopeful that the problems I'm having can be resolved for the most part and I'm very pleased with recent events.  But part of me is looking at how things have been handled now and comparing them with what happened before.  And feeling a little bit angry and frustrated about it and about two years of pain etc.

There is little point to it I know and I'm trying to keep the Oasis lyric in mind and let it go.  It's just not as easy as I'd like.  I have a friend who tells me he doesn't let things bother him and just gets on with them.  I wish I could do that or that I could learn too.  But he can't explain how he does it, he just does.  And actually I think sometimes you've gotta take the bad with the good.

Don't look back in anger,
I heard you say
At least not today

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