Then it turned into a bit of a week when people make stupid comments about my disability.
First, earlier in the week someone was saying where the disabled loo was at the event and another person went "where's the normal one?" to be honest I found that kinda funny but she was totally and utterly mortified when she realised what she'd said and apologised repeatedly. I'm sure she was much more bothered than I was.
Then on Saturday I asked someone "so... how are you?" The gestured at my wheelchair and then went "well... better than you." I said "I'm fine." and she said "I know you are" That did make me want to roll my eyes but it's someone I know well who hasn't been at all well, who didn't look good and said it in such a stiff upper lip "mustn't grumble" type way that I understood and let it go.
A bit later I was out for a bit of a wheel and an acquaintance stopped me to ask if I wanted a push. I said no and we chatted a bit. We've known each other a few years but only on and off and really don't know each other that well. Our conversation went a bit like this:
"How long have you been disabled?"
"From birth. I've got CP the same as [a CPer we both know]"
"oh how tragic."
"What?!"
"Well you were whole and then there was an accident with your birth and now you're disabled"
"I'm whole now. And anyway a lack of oxygen at birth was never gonna turn out well. Better disabled than dead."
She got called away at that point which was probably a good thing. I was very annoyed by that conversation. Being disabled doesn't make me less of a person. But I didn't lose it with her because I didn't feel I could and also I was shocked by the way the conversation had gone. Now I've had time to think about it? Not happy at all.
I'm a sailor, a writer, a volunteer CAB adviser, a knitter, a friend, a daughter, a sister. I'm messy, I'm opinionated, disorganised and loud. I dye my hair crazy colours, spend too much time on twitter, read crappy fanfics and go to bed much too late. I lose track of time reading too many books, like Doctor Who and want to start watching Grey's Anatomy again. I eat too much chocolate and drink too much coke. I'm learning to crochet and have piles of unused scrapbooking materials. And yes I have both depression and CP. And I use a wheelchair. But none of those make me any less of a person who spends all their time on their own two feet. The most important thing? I'm me. I'm Emma.
So for this week's Monday Music I'm sharing Born This Way. Originally by Lady Gaga, this is the Glee version. Mostly because the Lady Gaga video is really annoying (the song doesn't start for several minutes into the video) but also because, basically it's Glee. I love the tops they wear too.
It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
'Cause you were born this way, baby
My mama told me when I was young
We are all born superstars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir
"There's nothin' wrong with lovin' who you are"
She said, "'Cause He made you perfect, babe"
"So hold your head up, girl and you you'll go far,
Listen to me when I say"
I'm beautiful in my way,
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
(Born this way)
Ooo, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way
Ooo, there ain't other way
Baby, I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be!
Give yourself prudence and love your friends
Subway kid, rejoice the truth
In the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth
A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital H-I-M (hey, hey, hey)
I love my life, I love this record and
Mi amore vole fe yah
I'm beautiful in my way,
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Ooo, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way
Ooo, there ain't other way
Baby, I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't be drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby, you were born this way
No matter gay, straight or bi
lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to survive
No matter black, white or beige
chola or orient made
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to be brave
I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, yeah!
Ooo, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way
Ooo, there ain't other way
Baby, I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
I was born this way, hey!
I was born this wayy, hey!
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, hey!
I was born this way, hey!
I was born this way, hey!
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, hey!
5 comments:
I've found this a very interesting read, well said Emma.
And I say you should start watching Grey's Anatomy again :)
Take care,
Moll x x
Visiting from ICLW! Look forward to reading more of your blog.
All the best, Emma. Love your name, BTW!
Love your song choice and especially your outlook on life. Keep it up! Visiting from ICLW(#26)
It sounds like we have a lot in common only I'm a crocheter who is learning to knit. I read a ton of books (I'm above 50 for the year) and I adore Doctor Who (am LOVING the current storyline).
Your comments about your reactions to what those people said to you remind me a lot of another writer I found through ICLW some time ago. His name is Dave Hingsburger and he writes over at Rolling Around In My Head. BTW, I am not saying all disabled writers sound the same...far from it.
ICLW #10
Great read thanks for sharing!!!
I hate it when people judge people without knowing what they are capable of!!
Great song choice!
ICLW #96
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