Sunday 17 August 2008

Things to Think About.

It was really nice to see Auntie Sheila and everyone this afternoon and I did feel a bit more cheerful when I was out.

I think part of the blah down-ness might have come from the fact that I've not done very much of anything other than computer time, knitting and a bit of reading over the last few days.  I definitely couldn't have been in the bureau this week.  Overdoing it at the weekend and then spending a lot of time at home recovering is not a good mix for me mental health wise.  I guess those two mornings a week where I'm in the bureau do make a difference to me after all.  I knew they did but I didn't know it.

The stupidest thing about all of that is that out of the seven days since I came back from the regatta I've had three days where I've done propery stuff, two where I've done bits like go to sainsburys and only one where I have been at home all day.  I guess it comes down to what you're used too and truly an hour out and the rest of the time at home, usually alone (days I went to sainsburys) isn't great.  I'm used to MORE.   Doing and being MORE is what makes me happy.  But I couldn't have managed MORE this week.

Is that what they call Catch 22?  I've never been able to get my head around that much as I'd like too.  Several people have tried repeatedly to explain it though.  And talking of that, I think that might be one of the next books I read its been sat on my shelf for years.

Time for a paradigm shift me thinks.  I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do that though.

This next week is going to be pretty busy I think so that should shake some of my blues away.

When I was talking to Auntie Sheila earlier we were saying about how there are some very lonely people in this world.

I would never have said that I was a lonely girl.  But then thinking about all this this evening and that conversation and everything that goes with it, maybe I am?  I'm never bored (or not usually) because I have plenty to do and plenty going on around me.  Maybe, just maybe, all of this comes down to a touch of loneliness though?

Something to think on.

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