*bang*

I went shopping in Reading today.  And I only came back with the things I went to get.  I came home, called both of my siblings separately, lay on my bed, read for a while.  Messed around online, made dinner.  Developed a headache.  Drank a load of diet coke.  Started a knitting project, watched Doctor Who whilst eating my dinner.   And then I popped out for some fresh air.  A normal day.  Nothing significant, nothing major.

I stopped at the garage to get some chocolate and was idly wandering debating if I'd rather have biscuits (answer: yes if they'd had the ones I wanted).  Then I saw the box of chocolate snowballs.

and *bang* it hit me like a wave.

Thoughts of Stevie.

Memory is both a wonderous and strange thing all at once.  Something i'm thankful I have but which at times hurts just the same.  I know someone with short term memory loss and there is no doubting that it's nasty and causing problems.  And I know I'm lucky to have my memories, I cherish them.

But the memories came and... Grief, once again.

Today I can sit here (and I did, wandering home) and think "this time last year he was here."  tomorrow I can/could do the same.  But Monday... Monday marks one year.

Tomorrow is my sister's birthday, Monday is my Mum's birthday as well as being Stevie's anniversary.  I hope we can find some joy amongst our tears and sadness.

In the meantime I sit here remembering my dear, dear friend and marveling about the affect seeing one little packet of a snack food I don't even like (and which I'm not sure he did) can make me think and remember and feel.