It's not a secret but I have this feeling that if I'm going to succeed and succeed properly at doing this once and for all for the last time I am going to need to journal and I am going to need to journal just for me. I think having my own journal (or a part of this one) that no one else reads to share stuff in will
I am half toying with the idea of opening these entries to public view after Lent is over. But that just might be because I have always been very public and open in my blogging (and have never managed to actually keep a private journal, partially due to CP issues) so this is unusual for me.
So my biggest and main focus in "giving up being Fat" is on avoiding the two foods myost of my bad calories come from - not eating any chocolate at all - nothing with chocolate in it or flavoured chocolate - and no Coca-Cola products, not even Diet Coke. I am also trying to move my body two days out of three at present.
I drink probably a litre a day of real coke everyday and I have loads of chocolate and cake. When i actually sit down to think about what I'm eating I tend to disgust myself so I tend not to think about it - I also tend to buy my snacks from different places as I am very recognisable in my chair and I sometimes get embarrassed about what I'm buying and how often. More the how often than the what.
Today is day three of Lent. It;s also the second day running that I have gotten some exercise (yesterday dancing and today swimming). Three days without chocolate and coke has been way easier than I thought it would be and truthfully although I did wonder a lot on Wednesday about whether I was actually going to even try to do this I've found it relatively easy and no where near as hard as i had anticipated. I had actually anticipated being ill with headaches etc as the last time I gave up caffeine (on doctors orders) I was in bed by the end of the second day feeling lousy and craving a glass of the sweet brown fizzy stuff so much. And this time I gave up chocolate too, so, I was sure it was to be much, much worse.
My Gran always gave up chocolate for lent and she is the person I get my chocolate addiction from (although mine is much, much worse than hers). I have tried to give up chocolate as she did every year since 1999 and I think I managed it twice and gave up the rest of the times. It was a huge struggle each time but this year it's not. I like to think that she is here with me giving the strength to do this and that my giving up chocolate for lent is a tribute to her and a way of keeping up one of her traditions.
My second big reason for wanting to do this is as follows. Ben and Geri are off traveling for six months and come back on 05/07/07 which I counted in my diary is 18 weeks yesterday. If I were to keep going with weightloss and lose 2lb a week for those weeks i could lose 36lb or two and a half stone before they come back. How shocked would they be?!?! I wouldn't be skinny but I would be a hell of a lot closer and my BMI would be just in the overweight range instead of well above the beginning of the obese range.
I am shocked at how easy this is but I know I can do it.
Current stats as of 21/02 - weight 14st 9lb (205lb) BMI 35.7 - need to find the damn tape measure