Sunday 2 July 2006

Soul Food

I've spent the weekend being rather than doing and I've enjoyed it. It's good for my soul I think. I would like to make a promise to myself to do that more often but the trouble then becomes that it is something I've committed to doing and if I don't do it, I let myself down. I have enough anger with myself and thoughts of failing myself; I need soul food not to give myself more negative thoughts... and if a promise to myself to allow myself more soul food turns it into the very thing I need it to escape from/avoid then whats the point? There is no point.

Life is complicated
Life is hard
Life isn't what we expected it to be.
Life isn't what we want.
Life is all we're going to get
Life is Life
LIVE IT!

People say to me that they wish there were as strong/brave/whatever as I am for living life with CP. Or they say to me that I don't have to do what I do, they don't know how I do it. Even... They couldn't do it if they were me.

Well, what else am I going to do? I have always had and will always have CP. Life is not a dress rehearsal and I do not want to wake up one day and find myself on my deathbed with the sinking realisation that I did nothing in my life, just let it pass me by because I have CP and I don't have to do it.

All I do is live.
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO what a ride!"~Anonymous

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